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July Things To Remember

Reprinted from an article at by Paul Hudson

Things always and never go wrong. Itís a difficult concept to understand, and an even more difficult concept to adopt as being human doesnít exactly allow for such control over emotions and understanding. Things affect us in this way and thatís not so much because we are under their control, but because we donít understand that we are in control Ė for the most part, at least.

Things go wrong all the timeÖ but at the same time they neednít go wrong.
Hereís what I mean:

1. There Are Things That Are Completely Out Of Your Control. There is only so much that we can actually control in our lives. YesÖ it does blow. It would be great if we could control every single minute detail of our existence Ė all that goes on around us Ė but it simply isnít the case. You need to accept that; the sooner you do the sooner youíll be able to brush your problems off for the uncontrollable happenings that they are. If you canít control it then you shouldnít worry yourself about it. That may sound easier said than done, but there are several techniques you can use once you accept that the things out of your control are actually out of your control (the Internet can provide you with those).

2. Thereís No Substitute For Time. A lot of the time things arenít so much going wrong as they arenít going great. Because we consider going wrong basically anything that falls short of our expectations, even when things arenít necessarily going wrong and are just going at the natural pace, we often feel as if they were going wrong. This is usually the point when we push even harder, trying to force the results that we wish to see Ė trying to force success. That isnít how things work either. Sometimes things take time to develop and mature. Sometimes pushing makes things worse. Worrying and stressing over such things definitely makes things worse.

3. Failure Is Part Of The Learning Process. If you donít fail regularly then youíre doing something wrong. Thatís right Ė if you donít do something wrong regularly then youíre not doing something right. Confused? Because we rarely can predict the exact results of any of our attempts at success, regardless of what that may entail, failing is part of the process. If youíre not failing often then youíre not trying enough things. However, if you are failing often, make sure that youíre not testing the same theory over and over again. State your theory. Test it. Fail. Move on.

4. There Are No Highs Without Lows. Things canít always be going great because the better things go, the higher our expectations. The higher our expectations, the more likely we are not to reach those expectations. Most of the time what we consider to be a low is what others would consider to be highs. Lows are a natural part of life. But anything that goes down can go up Ė you just have to figure out how.

5. Itíll All Suck Less If You Stop Focusing On How Much It Sucks. Our minds can be our worst enemies. Thereís this feedback loop that seems to be built into our psyches. When things go great, we are happier, we see the world in a better light, and everything seems that much better. On the other hand, when things seem to be going poorly, we are thrown into a gloomy mindset. Things seem to be bleaker and then everything we come into contact with or ponder over seems hopeless. The more hopeless it seems, the worse we interpret experience Ė experiences, mind you, that with a better mindset would seem just fine Ė and the worse off we feel, continuing the dark cycle all the way down the rabbit hole. Distract yourself. Get your mind off the bad and focus on what good you do have in your life Ė we all have some. Look at the brighter side of things and donít focus on the negative.

6. Youíll Be Completely Fine No Matter What. We all have a tendency of blowing things out of proportion. The fact is that no matter how badly things are going, no mater how much you screwed up, no matter what has been taken away from you, you canít start from less than 0. When youíre at 0, you can only go up. But having everything taken away from you is not a situation you will ever find yourself in. Even if all your physical possessions have been taken away, even if your family and friends have been removed, you still have you. You have your knowledge, your thoughts, your mind and your experiences. You are always worth something and thatís something that no one can take away from you.

7. What Doesnít Kill You Can Make You Stronger. Can Ė not does. In order for your troubles to make you stronger, you have to learn from them. You have to figure out where Ė if at all Ė you went wrong. What could you have done differently? What could you have done more efficiently? What should you have avoided? What could you have interpreted in a different manner? What is it that you were missing? If you can learn from it then it wasnít time or energy wasted. We canít pick and choose the manner or speed in which we learn our life lessons. Only life gets to decide that.

8. Chances Are Youíve Been Worse Off Before. Whatís interesting to note is that those that seem to be worried and stressed the most are those that have the most to lose. Thatís not surprising. But consider the fact that all these individuals didnít start with all that they have Ė they started with much, much less. If you were fine with a whole lot less, then why are you freaking out about reverting back to that? Sure, youíre accustomed to a lifestyle and no one likes going backwards, but thatís all mental; itís all your perception of the situation. You wonít hate your life if you go backwards if you didnít hate your life when you were at that point before. What you really donít want to lose is all that time and energy that you spent creating what youíre about to lose. Unfortunately, the only way to look at it is as a lesson that you need to learn in order not to lose it again the second time around. Now get off your ass and make that success happen a second time.

9. Life Is Just A Game. People are under this illusion that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but there isnít. Your life, the experiences you have, the things you did and are going to do, all of that is the reward. Things going to the sh*tter is all part of the game. Itís not a lower level, itís a new level. Just as in games, life often gets harder as you make your way to the top. The only things in your favor are the skills you picked up along the way. Youíre always making progress, even if you donít know it.

10. There Are More Important Things In Life. Chances are that whatever you are worrying about isnít all that important. There is little in our lives that isnít replaceable, interchangeable or forgettable. What matters is what you as an individual give importance to. Things arenít intrinsically important Ė only people are. If you lost someone then you are in a difficult spot, but in time you will grow to appreciate others enough to no longer be sad about those you lost. As far as our careers goÖ itís great to have passions, but if no one ever needed to work, if we all lived in a utopian universe, youíd be keenly aware of what matters most: life itself. Everything else is just what we do to pass the time while we aim at achieving that utopian state.

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July Birthdays
July - 1 - Elsie Verner

July - 4 - Julia Greenhalgh

July - 5 - Thelma Cabaniss

July - 7 - Darlene Crabtree

July - 8 - Dylan Crabtree

July - 11 - Richard Trout

July - 13 - Holly Sickler

July - 14 - Joseph Mourey, Sr

July - 19 - Laura Montgomery

July - 20 - Elizabeth McCord

July - 31 - Elizabeth Jenkins

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Giving, because we know its right & needed is what will set us free and have us soaring in the clouds

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